Blog #32: Cheers to adulting
In the spirit of posting more freely on the blog, I want to share the speech that I wrote for USC Troy Philippines Seniors during their graduation last May. Troy Phi was (and remains) the only space on campus where Filipinos gather in the masses to support each other through our shared love and discovery of the culture. It was one of my greatest honors to deliver this speech to a group of youngins that I considered family during my college experience. If anything, I hope posting this on the blog allows them to come back to some important reminders whenever they need to.
Cheers to adulting!
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Dear Troy Phi Class of 2023,
Congratulations! You literally survived a global pandemic, insufferable zoom classes, and even a rocky transition back to the “in-person world” to be here today. Please never minimize your accomplishments despite these obstacles because they are NOT normal circumstances. Y’all just happen to be some superhumans.
For anyone who may not know me, my name is Maya and I’m what they call a “TP OG.” Only 3 years ago, I was the Internal Vice President of Troy Phi, where I had the pleasure of watching so many of these wonderful people develop their “Troy Phi Origin Stories.” In other words -- I was “Mama Maya” and these were my kiddos. The beautiful community we built together will ALWAYS live in a special place of my heart.
It’s so wild to see you all “grown up” now, cause you’ll always be freshmen in my memories. The unfortunate truth is that we all continue to grow older, despite our resistance to the future. I remember when I was in your position two years ago, I cringed at the thought of graduation and hung onto every second when I still had the safety net of school. Rejecting the thought of the future didn’t make it any easier to live in the present though. Some of you may be in that position now, and all I can say is to trust that the universe has plans for you. The time has come to activate that plan, but it won’t move until you allow it to.
Anyone will tell you that the transition from being a college student to “full on adulting” is a tough one. Sometimes it feels like walking through a pitch-black tunnel, not knowing what’s on the other side. Change is scary. But it’s true that the only constant in life is change, and it’s time to welcome in a new era. In true “Intern Mom” fashion, I'm happy to share my post-grad advice and experiences to hopefully ease some of your concerns about entering “the adult world”:
#1. Cherish, nurture, and grow your community -- wherever you are. For the first time in your life, you won’t be able to conveniently see your friends at meetings, socials, and parties. Your closest buds may move across the state or the country, you’ll get locked into your full time jobs, you’ll make new friends, and you may not have as much energy as you once did. Know that you will have to be a lot more intentional with your time. That may look like scheduling time with friends like you would an appointment, and that’s okay. Maintain and grow your community by all means, because these are the folks who will be there for you, through it all.
#2. Vulnerability is your greatest strength. Y’all probably remember how much I emphasized this throughout the intern program, and the lesson remains true. Life after graduation can be seriously challenging, you might even feel like you need to cry at work on some days. Honor that part of you, because it’s really your mind telling your body what it needs. If you find yourself in a work culture that discourages you from showing up as your whole self, that’s probably not a good space to be in. Don’t be afraid to “go there” with your colleagues, because the way you interact with them will define the culture you want to participate in. And the support you receive from being honest with your emotions may seriously surprise you -- cause let’s be real, EVERYONE is going through it.
#3. To unlock your full potential, you have to stop comparing yourself. I had this epiphany during a Lyft ride one night. To be honest, I was on my way home from a night of drinking and feeling very chatty. I somehow got locked into a profound conversation with my driver, when he asked me who I idolize. As an activist writer and thought leader that I highly respect, I said Maya Angelou. Then my driver got into an impassioned rant about how I will NEVER be Maya Angelou, the same way she could NEVER be me. So I shouldn’t put anyone on a pedestal and let their accomplishments inhibit me from distinguishing myself. At the end of the day, you each have distinct experiences and lessons that shape you into who you are, and it uniquely defines the way you express yourself in the world. Each of you has the potential to be great, when you own the fact that YOU ARE ONE OF A KIND.
And lastly, #4. Remember that you will always be a student. On this day you are graduates, but your learning journey will never end. A “good student” is not someone who gets a perfect score 100% of the time, it’s a person who is not afraid to learn from their mistakes. Know that this is the perfect time to make mistakes, have epiphanies, follow your passions, and accept that you don’t always know what you’re doing. As long as you’re open to the possibilities, the universe will open doors for you.
One of you told me the other night how you were sad because “it’s all over now.” While your days as a college student and active TP member are most likely over -- know that this is only the beginning. The experiences, knowledge and most importantly friends you gained in this place will change you for the rest of your life. If you continue to nourish your friendships and learning journey, you’ll start to realize that life post-college isn’t so bad. When we graduate, we don’t fundamentally change as people. We’re just doing different things. Maybe we have to manage our time a little differently, but we can still engage in all the things that give us life. And of course it’s an amazing privilege to take all the tools we’ve gained and finally apply them to real life.
Trust that you are ready for this transition. And trust that you will be held by your families, friends, ancestors, and community at all times. You are the generation that is going to change the way the world thinks, acts, and dreams. We need your voices and talents to make much needed change. If these past years accomplished anything, it proved that you know how to survive the chaos and thrive. Despite how this next chapter goes, you will always be your ancestors’ wildest dreams come alive.
I’m just humbled that I got to know you before you made it big.
With all my love,
Mama Maya
